Our Almost Completely True Story
By: Jerry Sroka & Mariette Hartley
When a tall, aging, shiksa icon, meets a short Jewish leprechaun in a bird store… what are the chances?
AGEISM: a tendency to regard older persons unworthy of attention or unsuitable for employment. Merriam Webster was very wise.
Mariette Hartley has been acting for over 60 years. She was nominated for five Emmy’s and won for “The Hulk” or as she says… “I went to bed with Billy Bixby and woke up with Lou Ferrigno and I got an Emmy for it?” In addition, she has won 3 Clios, done Broadway, toured, shot hundreds of TV series, appeared in films like “Ride the High Country” and “1969” and who can forget those Polaroid commercials?
Unfortunately, “the business” being “the business,” Mariette finds herself having to audition for people who have no idea of who she was…is.
A friend suggests she should have a significant other in her life and pressures her to tackle the dreaded online dating sites to which replies…“Which picture should I use? The one with the two navels or the one with the horse?”
Meanwhile… the leprechaun had a thriving voice-over career in New York, so naturally he moved to L.A. to do TV and film and hasn’t worked since.
How they meet, how he wins her, loses her, and wins her, sounds like a familiar story, but with Peter MacNicol, Tess Harper, Morgan Fairchild, Bernie Kopell, Jack McGee, Peter Onorati, John Rubenstein, Mindy Sterling, Sam McMurray and Stu Pankin…it isn’t.
And it has no car chases, no explosions, no aliens, no nudity and no gunplay. It does have Don Scardino directing, a chance meeting at a bird store, several dates from hell, a trip to Tombstone and a happy ending.
Silent Crow Arts